Before I piss someone off, let me start by saying that this post is not about encouraging teens to get pregnant nor is it about judging people who for some reason became parents in their teen years. It is just such a DELICIOUSLY personal topic for me!
I live in a big city, but the community I moved in a couple of years back is a very tight one. Everyone knows everyone, and everyone knew my family before we even got here. I didn't know anyone though so I was quite surprised to encounter a few of these people who had decided they already knew me.
"Welcome! So you are the teen mom! Wow! It's really wonderful for the man to take care of you and your child, many men could not take such responsibility!"
... Okay hold on lady, excuse me what? First of all at that time I was way out of my teenage years and my older one had just entered elementary school. Secondly, I had never met this person but the word had gotten around about the new kid on the block of pearl white SUV's and hidden agendas in perfect manicures. Thirdly, did this hag honestly think I had married another man, a saving knight to support me and my bastard son?
Hold your horses and back off - I ain't done with you lady. Trust me, I've answered all the questions in the world, so here goes few of the most delicious ones:
- Are you pregnant? You sure look pregnant but you're only 18! (Naah, I just ate a really big turkey this Christmas, must be that, we'll see in few months)
- But how come you are pregnant at the age of 18? (This might take a while but let me tell you how babies are made...)
- Is there some religious reason behind this decision of yours? (Sure, we all at the church got together and decided I should decide to get pregnant!)
- This is a really big shame, considering you are one of our best students, I can't believe you're throwing your studies and your career away! (You know, my pregnancy does not exactly stop me from studying... just saying... )
- But what about the dad? Where is he? (At work, hopefully, beacause I will need some new jeans soon to fit this turkey tummy in!)
- You mean the dad is in the picture? That is very brave of him! (Brave indeed, I can be quite the scary witch from time to time! How unfair of me to get pregnant alone and put him in such a tough spot.)
- But how could you let such an irresponsible accident happen? (I believe the actual act was quite intentional, and atfer a few months of trying we were quite glad of the results!)
- You can't honestly tell me thatvyou and your guy actually planned to get a child when you are only 18 years old and actually want to get married? (Does it make it easier for you to understand my personal decisions in life if
I act the part you've written me in in your head?)
- But you have tattoos and you play rock! (Okay, no one ever said that but I could surely see that in their terrified eyes)
I have met some of these people now, years and years later, and I always feel such a sweet little tickle in my tummy when they approach me asking of my son and "how I eventually managed to pull through". I'm oh so glad to tell them I now have two boys, and that the same brave husband is still around, and that I finished my university studies even if a few years later than my peers... and that I still play in a rock band.
Now, please tell me I am fortunate and that most of the teenagers who end up with a baby are not as lucky. I will gladly agree, tell you I did not end up with a baby but rather planned it, and proceed to tell you luck had nothing to do with this - it was pure determination, crazy young love and hard work, just like in any other new family and marriage. Age is just a number, eh?
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